About Me: My Work, My Philosophy and My Approach
Hi, I’m John Sherwood.
I’d like to share a few personal thoughts and observations with you about myself and my work.
I realize that finding the right therapist to lead you through the complex issues of your marriage and relationship is not an easy task, and I’m hoping that these brief remarks will help you make the right decision.
Over the years I’ve noticed that happy and successful couples, the ones with enduring and fulfilling relationships, have just as many problems as unhappy and unsuccessful couples.
The difference is that happy and successful couples are able to talk to each other; they talk to each other honestly, openly and respectfully without criticizing their partners as they share thoughts and opinions. And they express their feelings confidently, knowing that how they feel will be respected. These are the couples who know how to ask for what they want and need in their relationships. As listeners, they are equally skilled – they listen with compassion, with empathy and without judgment, all in the interest of solving problems and preserving the good will and the warm emotional connections of their relationship.
My goal is to move you through the counseling process quickly and I won’t allow either of you to get stuck in old patterns of endless debate and unproductive “attack and defend” interactions that create emotional distance and fail to solve problems. You’ve already discovered that those approaches don’t work. They only create more and more layers of resentment that lead to more avoidant behaviors, more silence and disharmony and a continuing and increasing gap in emotional distance.
I’ll move you through the counseling process quickly to help you:
- Stabilize existing conflicts
- Identify and stop ineffective patterns of communication that don’t work
- Practice healthy patterns of communication that do work
- Work through and repair the losses and injuries of the past
- Accept your Partner’s influence
- Express affection and appreciation
- Re-establish trust and commitment
- Develop a unified approach to parenting
- Reconnect sexually
- Discover more about who you are individually and as a couple; and
- Create a shared sense of meaning to make life dreams come true!
You’ll see that I take control very early in the process as I lead you through the steps that build effective speaking and listening skills. But very soon as you learn and as your communications skills develop and begin to grow, your confidence will increase, and soon – very soon – you will both begin to take control in facing the difficult issues and the difficult problems in your lives.
Together you will learn to understand, to accept and to forgive each other for the problems that you can’t change and you will learn together, through a new set of communication skills and techniques, to resolve the problems that you can.
Together you can begin to move toward – rather than away from each other – the interest of managing conflict, creating a shared meaning in your relationship and making your life’s dreams come true. And if you need a child therapist due to family conflicts that have resulted from your past situation, I am happy to welcome you for child therapy in my San Antonio office, or schedule a private video conference for your family.
I believe that bringing this into reality is what every couple wants. And bringing it into your reality will be my commitment to you!
I wish you and your partner every happiness and every success in whatever you decide.